What I Wouldn't Give
by oh seattlegrace
Summary: Tragedy is inevitable. An accident leaves one doctor dead and another fighting for her life as the rest of the hospital struggles to rebuild relationships and fix what has been hurt. MerDer.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Well, its no surprise that I don't own Grey's Anatomy, but lets not dwell on that fact, I wish I owned it. Actually, I wish I owned Patrick Dempsey.**

**Hello, this isn't my first story, even though it might appear that way. I have another account but I have a couple unfinished stories and I felt that I wanted to write a better story, so I deemed it necessary to make a new account. So hello, thanks for reading. Please review, reviews help. This story is probably going to be pretty typical...and I know that, don't remind me!**

**Its called What I Wouldn't Give and in it, we lose a character. Just warning you, keep your brains open! Thanks.**

* * *

Meredith slowly opened her eyes, but immediately regretted the action. She could feel the blood flowing steadily down her cheek, frowning she reached up to wipe it off, but her arm wouldn't budge. 

"Iz?" she called next to her, "Iz, are you awake?" Gathering the strength to open her eyes again, she saw Izzie's lifeless body slumped forward against the dashboard. Everything had happened in a flash, one moment the two had been crossing an intersection, and the next moment they were upside down.

It hadn't been Meredith's fault, the light had obviously been green. The person that had caused the accident had been flying through the intersection, oblivious to the fact that his light was red. Izzie had sworn at the top of her lungs to get Meredith's attention, but Meredith knew that all she could do was keep driving, and hope for the best. Now one of her closest friends was unconsious, bleeding next to her.

Meredith sighed, trying to move. Izzie wasn't moving, Izzie wasn't awake. "Izzie?" she called again, her voice sounding weaker. She could hear the sirens approaching from the distance, and she knew that the paramedics would help Izzie, but Meredith wanted to know for herself if her friend was going to be okay. As the sirens came closer, Meredith finally gave in and let the darkness take over her body.

* * *

"Where is Stevens?" Callie asked the rest of the residents angrily, she didn't tolerate it when people were tardy, especially Izzie. 

"I don't know," George shrugged, "I came in early, she was riding with Grey."

"Well in that case..." Callie began, suddenly noticing the absence of Meredith, "Where is Grey? Do they think that they can just come and go as they please? Is saving lives just not important enough for them?"

"Do you want me to - " Cristina was cut-off by the pure anger rising in Callie's voice. The past week had been extremely rough for Callie and her temper had fluctuated to an all-time high.

"No!" Callie barked, "I want you to go to the pit help with any incomings," Callie shrugged, "Karev - you can scrub in with me."

"The pit?" Cristina asked, "Why can't I go with Hahn? Izzie and Meredith are late, they can help in the pit."

"Do not," Callie stared Cristina down, "Just do not cross me today, not today. I have too much on my plate to deal with the 'I'm Cristina Yang and I'm better than you' bullshit. Take your interns with you."

"Yes mam," Cristina hung her head and headed towards the elevators.

* * *

"We have two incoming ambulances," Cristina confirmed to her interns, tying on her yellow smock, "One and two, you take the first ambulance, three, four, and five - you take the second ambulance." 

"Do we have any idea what to expect?" Lexie asked, the pit was her least favorite place to help at the hospital.

"Hopefully blood, lots of blood, and guts," Cristina smiled, watching the ambulances pull towards them.

The doors of the first ambulance swung open, and Cristina noticed blood on the paramedic.

"28 year old female, driver t-boned at an intersection, lacerations all over the body, obvious injuries to both legs and arms, possible spinal injuries and head injuries, stomach bruising," the paramedic told Cristina as the two interns helped get the stretcher down from the ambulance.

"Okay people let's - " Cristina paused as she looked at her best friend laying on the stretcher, "Shit...Meredith!" Cristina's head began to spin, she was frantic. It seemed that every bit of medicine she knew had vanished.

Cristina couldn't move, she was frozen to where she was standing. Too many times had Cristina stood in the same position, preoccupied by the fact that Meredith was about to die. Two other times had Cristina cried tears of joy when she found out that her friend would make it to see another day. For once, Cristina had little faith that Meredith would make it.

"Take her into Trauma Room 1 and page the chief!" Cristina commanded, wondering if Izzie was going to be in the next ambulance. Cristina couldn't think straight, frankly, she didn't know what to think.

"Three, four, five, what have you got?" Cristina asked, trying to forget how her best friend had looked coming into the hospital on a stretcher.

The three interns turned around, looking shaken. With a sympathetic glance towards their superior, who they knew was friends with the victim, Lexie was the first to announce, "It's Dr. Stevens...she, she didn't make it."

Once again, Cristina found her feet frozen to the ground. Most people would instantly break down, but all Cristina could do was turn and run towards the building. Ignoring the fact that Izzie was dead and Meredith was unstable in a trauma room, Cristina paused, leaned against a wall, and slid down to the floor, throwing her head in her hands.

* * *

Cristina hadn't been able to move from where she was seated. Leaning back against the wall of the hallway, she watched as people whizzed past her. She hadn't even thought to page anyone, she could only think about the life that was lost and the life that was fighting. 

"Hi," she looked over as Lexie Grey sat down awkwardly next to her, "You know - Bailey, Torres, and the Chief are all in there fighting for Meredith's life...I think she'll -"

"Okay," Cristina began, turning towards her intern, "I don't know what made you think that you could talk to me. First, my best friend and my sister, who is closer to me than you could ever hope to get with her, is in that room fighting for her life. My other friend, Dr. Stevens, she DIED this morning, and right now I'm dealing, and to me dealing involves NO INTERNS BUGGING ME. If you want to do something useful, page Dr. Karev and O'Malley, tell them to come here."

"Yes mam," Lexie frowned, standing up and heading towards the waiting room. Cristina was angry, no one had bothered to come tell her anything, and the only person she had to sympathize with her pain was a lowly intern who talked too much too often.

Five minutes later, Alex came strolling towards Cristina, looking extremely pleased.

"Dude, Callie's surgery later is going to be - "

"Shut up," Cristina cut him off, "Just..." Looking at one of her 'family members' made the tears finally rush to her eyes. She and the chief were the only people who knew about Izzie so far, and she needed to tell someone else, "Sit down."

"Cristina, whats the problem? You looked freaked," Alex sat down, looking puzzled.

"I was on pit duty, as I'm sure you remember and...I went out to the first ambulance, and...it was Meredith. She was bleeding, a lot. Izzie was...Izzie was in the second...Alex, Izzie is...Izzie didn't, Izzie..."

"What?" Alex cried, jumping up from his seat, "Izzie...no, is she...?" Alex felt his knees shaking, Cristina hadn't been straight forward, but her point had been made obviously clear.

"Yes, Alex," the tears finally reached Cristina's eyes. Alex froze and sank into the chair again.

"No," his eyes began welling up with tears, "No...please don't...no."

"How am I supposed to tell George?" Cristina asked, notcing Dr. Bailey and George walking towards her at the same time.

"Cristina - what did you need?" George questioned, looking concerned at their faces.

"Cristina - I'm here to give you an update," Dr. Bailey sighed, taking a seat across from Cristina.

* * *

**Well, sorry about that. Please review, it would make my day!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Well, its no surprise that I don't own Grey's Anatomy, but lets not dwell on that fact, I wish I owned it. Actually, I wish I owned Patrick Dempsey.**

**Thanks for all of the positive feedback, its encouraging and helpful. The more positive feedback, the more updates. Obviously, this isn't supposed to be an extremely happy story, so just hold onto your seats.**

**I'm updating a lot at the beginning just to get the story rolling, but trust me...they'll get more sporadic.**

* * *

"What's going on?" George asked, looking back and forth between Alex, Cristina, and Bailey, "What's happening?" 

"George, Dr. Bailey," Cristina began, taking a deep breath, "George...Izzie and Meredith were in an accident on their way to work this morning."

George froze where he was standing, trying to process what Cristina had told him. Just hours before he had been laying in bed with Izzie in a perfect bliss, finally being able to have the girl of his dreams.

"They are okay aren't they?" he asked, "Well of course they are, they're Izzie and Meredith, they're always okay...Cristina, they are okay, aren't they?"

"Meredith is..." Bailey whispered, she had been running on pure adrenaline for the past few hours, and now she could finally think about the days events.

"Cristina...tell me where Izzie is," George demanded, feeling tears stinging the backs of his eyeballs.

"George," Bailey answered before Cristina could, "George, Izzie didn't...Izzie is...Izzie didn't make it."

George froze, his eyes locked with Bailey's. His legs began to quiver as he took in what she said.

"I..." he began, "I have to...go." Turning abruptly, George began running towards the doors of the hospital.

"George!" Alex croaked out, standing up weakly, "I'll make sure he's okay."

"Okay?" Cristina asked sadly, "How do you think he could be okay? His puppy didn't die, Alex...his girlfriend did."

"I'm going to go keep an eye on him, something...get some...fresh air," Alex choked, walking towards the doors, "Tell me about Meredith later."

"How is she?" Cristina questioned, pulling her knees to her chest and laying her forehead on her knees, "Is she going to be okay?"

"As far as we can tell right now, she is going to live," Bailey responded, as Cristina let out a deep sigh, "BUT her injuries are substantial. Her left knee was completely dislocated, it tore her ACL, MCL, miniscus, and two other ligaments, she shattered her left ankle, also fractured her tibia, and fibula, she also has a hairline fracture on her knee-cap. She also fractured her right ankle. Her left collarbone was shattered and her shoulder was dislocated, her wrist was broken as well. She cracked four ribs, and we had to crack two others to get to her chest, she tore her aorta and is in surgery now with Hahn. As for her head, her scans showed two small bleeders and Dr. Gonzalez is in there with her now, Derek was in another surgery and still hasn't found out. We also discovered bleeding into the stomach."

Cristina frowned, "Shepherd doesn't know about this yet? He is going to freak out. I...you...probably should tell him."

"Cristina...maybe you should go home and change and come back as a visitor, you aren't going to get any work done today," Bailey put a reassuring hand on Cristina's back, "Hell...I'm not either."

"I've...I can't...I..." Cristina stuttered, just as she had been doing all day. Meredith was going to be in so much pain when she woke up, and Cristina didn't think that she could deal with it. Slowly rising from her seat, Cristina walked back into the hospital, towards the OR.

* * *

Alex slowly opened the doors of Joe's Emerald City Bar only to find George sitting on a barstool, sobbing into his arm. Joe stood at the bar, looking puzzled, watching as Alex sat down next to George and put an arm around him. 

"Fuck," George muttered, "Fuck, fuck, FUCK!"

"George..." Alex cleared his throat, "She loved you George, you know that she loved you...you got the chance to love her, and thats all that counts."

"Its my fault," George slowly lifted his head, "I told her that I had to leave early for work, and we argued about it for five minutes, then we made up and Izzie still had to get ready, causing Meredith to have to wait for her. Its my fault, had I not been so stupid, they would both be..."

"Dude," Alex looked George in the eyes, "In no way, shape, or form is this your fault...you loved them both, but if we go back to the hospital we can find out how Mer is doing."

"Alex," George wiped his eyes, "I was in love with Izzie, we were in love, and everything I've lived for since my dad died has been pulled away from me."

"I know man, I know..." Alex felt tears stinging his eyes as he slowly stood up to head back to the hospital.

* * *

"Shit," Callie jumped back as she opened the door to the linen closet to find a sobbing Cristina, "Sorry." 

"You were in the OR, weren't you? I couldn't quite tell...the chief saw me before I could get closer," Cristina asked, wiping her eyes and sitting up.

"Yes," Callie walked into the closet and took a seat next to Cristina, "Do you want me to tell you the blunt truth?"

Cristina nodded, grabbing a pillowcase to wipe off her face.

"It wasn't pretty...her left leg is out of commission for a long time, and she's going to have to fight. Fight a lot. But I have faith that she's going to pull through," Callie put a reassuring hand on Cristina's knee, "All you need is a little faith."

* * *

"You paged?" Dr. Shepherd walked up to Dr. Bailey, immediately taking in the distraught look on her face, "What's going on?" 

"I know that you and Meredith aren't - "

"What's wrong with Meredith?" he asked, the color in his face draining, "Is she okay? What's happening?"

"Meredith and Izzie Stevens were in a car accident this morning on the way to work-"

Derek cut off Bailey once again, "Is she okay? Is Stevens okay? Is she hurt?"

"Stevens..." Bailey stifled a sob, she had been holding it in all day and it was fighting to come out, "Stevens didn't make it. Grey is okay, she's really, really beat up and in surgery, but I have faith that she'll make it."

"Stevens is..." Derek paused and looked at Bailey, straight in the eyes, "Oh my god."

"Do you want to tell me about Grey's injuries?" Bailey asked, and Derek nodded, "She's in surgery right now with Hahn, Gonzalez, Torres, and a few others. Her left leg - shattered ankle, tore all the ligaments in her knee, all kinds of fractures. Fractured right ankle, dislocated left shoulder, shattered left collarbone, broken wrist, cracked ribs, bleeding in the heart, head and stomach."

Derek put his head in his hands as he slowly sat down, "You know, I took her for granted. I know that she..."

"Save your love life right now," Bailey sighed, "I just...I can't hear about it right now. I lost one of my interns, they are like my children, I lost one of my children, and there was nothing I could...nothing I could do for her." Derek slowly stood up and moved to put her arm around her.

"And she loved you," Derek shrugged, "Just like a child would love a mother. Even though this is a work environment, those interns...they loved you with all of their hearts."

"Thanks Shepherd," she smiled, looking up at him, "I was going to go wait in Grey's room...care to join me?"

"Of course," he smiled sadly, following Bailey down the halls.

* * *

Hours later Meredith had been moved into a room in the ICU, after a successful but long surgery. There had been more than one complication and all of the doctors were exhausted. 

Bailey, Derek, Alex, George, Cristina, Callie, Mark, and Hahn were all scattered around the room, waiting for any signs of life from Meredith. Throughout the room the noise of muffled cries could be heard as the group avoided the elephant in the room, Izzie.

"I called her mother," Callie finally spoke up, "I got the phone number from her emergency contact sheet...her mom is going to come out here tomorrow, then she'll plan the funeral."

"Thanks," George looked up and met Callie's eyes, who immediately stared at the floor, "That was...thanks."

Cristina sat against the wall on the floor, trying not to look at Meredith's lifeless body. Somehow the day had not gone as anyone had planned, but there was nothing more she wanted than to be the one in the bed in Meredith's place.

"I called Addison," Mark piped up from his corner, "She's going to come up tomorrow if she can find a flight, she is a part of this family."

"Izzie looked up to Addison," Alex shrugged, "She always thought that she was amazing. She'd be happy to know that Addison came up here in her honor and memory."

"I..." Bailey tried not to look at Cristina as she spit out her words, "I called Burke to tell him and he wants to come to the funeral..."

"You called Burke?" Cristina looked up, slowly meeting Bailey's eyes, "As in...how is...did he sound okay?"

"He's doing fine, Yang," Bailey gave her a sympathetic stare.

It was without warning that Meredith's heart monitor began to go crazy, causing Cristina to jolt forward.

"Code Blue!" Bailey screamed, punching in the button on the wall, making everyone in the room jump to their feet.

"Meredith, don't do this to me Mer," Cristina muttered under her breath, running from the room

* * *

**Cliffhanger, oh man, oh man.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Well, its no surprise that I don't own Grey's Anatomy, but lets not dwell on that fact, I wish I owned it. Actually, I wish I owned Patrick Dempsey.**

**I'm back. Again. This is the best I've ever done with updating...be proud. Please continue the reviews and I'll continue doing my thing.**

* * *

"Cristina?" Bailey opened the door to another on-call room; as she had been searching for at least a half hour, "Yang?" 

"What?" Cristina sat up from the bed, her eyes swollen and red from crying, "Please, please...if it's...just, I can't hear it right now...I can't hear that I've lost the only person I have left to honestly and truely live for."

"You haven't," Bailey walked closer to the bed and sat next to Cristina, "Meredith, she is going to be okay. I think you should go sit in her room in case she wakes up soon, I'm willing to bet she will."

"Then what was wrong? Why was she coding?" Cristina asked, obviously still traumatized.

"Those type of things happen, and we don't know why," Bailey shrugged, "Now get back to Grey's room, that girl is gonna need to see you the second she wakes up."

"Yes ma'am," Cristina sighed, pulling herself out of the bed and standing up. The past month had been brutal for Cristina. First, she was left at the alter, then her mentor, also her ex-fiance, left the hospital, leaving nothing to remember him by behind. It seemed as soon as that was getting better, a whole new problem was open, the problem that Izzie was dead and Meredith was struggling not to die.

* * *

As a precaution, there was a tube down Meredith's throat. It wasn't unusual for patients to have breathing tubes while recovering from major surgery. She wasn't comatose, and for that Cristina was thankful, but until she woke up, the tube was to remain. 

Scooting closer to Meredith's bed, Cristina began speaking, "Mer...I know you're asleep, and I know that you are in extreme amounts of pain, but I need you to wake up, I...we lost Izzie, Mer. We lost her and I don't know what to do so I need you to wake up. Right now."

For three hours, Cristina sat in the stiff hospital chair, wondering what was going to happen without Izzie around. George and Alex had gone home to change and Bailey had forced Derek into an on-call room to take a brief nap. Bailey herself was trying to keep the hospital running, as it seemed everyone else had gone off the deep-end. First they would all have to heal, and then they would have to deal with her being gone in the workplace. As Cristina sat, deeply saddened in her thoughts, Meredith began coughing.

"Hold on Mer," Cristina jumped out of her seat and grabbed hold of the tube. It was obvious that Meredith was trying to breath on her own and struggling. Hitting the nurse 'call' button, Cristina began to slide the tube out of her friends throat, "This is going to feel uncomfortable." With one last giant cough from Meredith, the tube was out of her throat and Meredith sat in bed coughing more.

"Oh my God, oh my God...you're awake!" Cristina's eyes teared up as Meredith began to catch her breath. Cristina had never been so relieved to see her friend's gray eyes open and alert.

"Cr...Cristina," Meredith coughed lightly as Cristina inconspicuously paged Bailey, Derek, George and Alex, "Cristina."

"Hi," Cristina smiled at her friend, putting a hand on her bandaged head, "How are you feeling?"

"Like..." Meredith began, suddenly remembering what had happened, "Where...wheres...Izzie? Is she...okay?" Meredith was still struggling to make out her words, due to the fact her throat was a little bit swollen.

"Mer..." Cristina didn't want to do this, not in that moment, and luckily she was saved by Bailey, who was practically sprinting to get in the room.

"Meredith Grey," Bailey smiled, "It is great to see those pretty eyes open. How are you feeling?"

"Where is Izzie?" Meredith's eyes began welling up with tears as she realized that her friend was not there, "Where is she?"

"Meredith," Bailey looked at the young resident sadly. Before she could stop them, memories of Meredith's intern year began flooding her head, from the first day when she showed up late, to the time she died and came back to life, "Meredith...Izzie didn't make it."

Meredith froze. Everything on her body was aching. They aches were deep and painful, and breathing hurt. She knew that she was preventing Bailey from doing her job, but she needed to hear about Izzie, now she regretted remember.

"No!" Meredith's eyes welled up with more tears, "No, no, no! She can't...she can't be gone." Meredith stopped talking and took a deep breath, trying to control the pains in her body.

"I know its a lot to digest," Bailey sighed, "But I really need to check you out and explain your injuries to you." Bailey began doing her exam on Meredith as Derek and the chief entered the room.

"Mer..." Derek felt tears spring to his eyes, but he suddenly felt the tension in the room; Meredith knew.

"Hi," she looked over to him and then to the chief, "Umm..."

"I'm sorry," Derek groaned, moving closer to her bed, "I know its going to hurt for a while...but Izzie didn't feel any pain, don't worry. You know she loved you a lot."

"Don't," Meredith breathed, flinching at the pains shooting up her left leg at Bailey adjusted her traction, "Not right now. Don't. Everyone, except you Cristina, everyone else out."

"But..." Derek began to protest, suddenly stopping as he felt Bailey's eyes burning his skull.

"I'll talk to you later," the chief put a reassuring hand on Meredith's shoulder and continued out of the room. The second her fan-club left, the sobs began.

"Cristina," she choked between sobs, "What am I going to do? I killed one of my best friends. She can't be...she isn't...she..."

"Mer," Cristina bit her lip, trying to contain her own tears, "Someone ran a red light, it wasn't your fault - you didn't kill her. I know its going to hurt a while for all of us, and especially you, but right now you have to focus on your own health. Your body has been through a lot of stress."

"I know," Meredith yawned, "And I'm just so tired, and I don't want to see Derek because then it reminds me of yet another situation I have to deal with."

As Meredith almost settled into sleep, Callie knocked on the door and interrupted the bonding between the two younger residents.

"Well," Callie smiled, walking to the side of Meredith's bed, "You are one lucky chick, Grey. Your ankle, knee, and collarbone are all being held together with pins and screws. As soon as your right ankle heals you'll be able to consider using crutches but it will be a long time before you're walking. Your collarbone also has to heal. You broke a lot of bones, is the morphine working?"

"Technically," Meredith frowned, "Physically its working, but there doesn't seem to be a cure for emotional pain."

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Well, its no surprise that I don't own Grey's Anatomy, but lets not dwell on that fact, I wish I owned it. Actually, I wish I owned Patrick Dempsey.**

**I'm back...and as much as I love your reviews, I would love more. What can I say...I'm greedy!**

* * *

Anne Stevens stepped out of her old, battered car into the rain of Seattle. It wasn't much different from her home two hours south, the weather was about the same, but the hospital was large and intimidating. She wondered it she would fit in. She was wearing faded jeans and a plaid button down shirt, she had come in a hurry. On the other hand, she didn't care what people thought of her, she just needed to see her daughter's friends that she had heard so much about. 

Anne walked up to the front desk of the hospital timidly, feeling ridiculously out of place with the large glass windows and the somber nurses and doctors, "Hi, I'm Anne Stevens, I'm looking for Meredith Grey?"

The nurse immediately knew who Anne Stevens was, she had known who Izzie Stevens was. It showed on her face that she was suffering through hardship.

"Normally, I wouldn't allow people to visit ICU patients at this time, but I can make an exception," the nurse smiled sadly, "Third floor - room 303."

"Thank you," Anne half-smiled sadly, walking towards the elevators. She wondered if this was the path that her daughter had taken into work on a daily basis. She thought of her daughter in high-school, and then thought about who she had become. Izzie had completely changed her life to be the person that anyone would aspire to be.

She finally reached the door, nervously reaching up her hand to knock. She saw a brunette laying in bed, she knew it was Meredith. She had heard all about Izzie's friends.

As far as Elizabeth knew, Meredith was the ringleader. She was strong, driven, and had been modeled to be a surgeon from the moment she came into the world. She was loving, but had so many problems of her own to deal with that sometimes she couldn't be of much help. She was also Izzie's room-mate, and Izzie's closest girlfriend. She kept their group of friends together and helped Izzie when she had faced personal tragedy.

Sitting next to the bed, she saw a dark-haired girl with crazy curls, who she knew was Cristina. Cristina was the one that Izzie didn't get along with very well, but she knew they were close. Cristina was going to become the greatest surgeon out of any of them, she was extremely focused and driven, yet sometimes cold. Cristina and Meredith had a bond that Izzie hadn't been able to break.

Finally, Anne brought herself to knock on the door. Cristina immediately turned around, and she must have instantly known who she was. Her slim eyes softened, and she clutched Meredith's hand.

"Hi," Anne said awkwardly, taking one step into the room, "I'm...I'm Izzie's mom."

Meredith felt tears spring to her eyes, she had never met Izzie's mother, but she had heard a lot about her. She remembered the day that she threatened to call Izzie's mom, and she remembered the times that Izzie would secretly call her mom in the middle of the night. A wave of guilt flew through Meredith's body as she looked at the older woman's sunken eyes.

"I'm Meredith," she croaked from the bed, feeling a surge of pain shoot through her body. She was only about a day away from being put into a normal room but she knew that the pain would persist for a long time. She also knew that she wouldn't be walking for a very long time.

"How are you dear?" Anne asked, "I'm sorry about everything, but I've heard so much about you."

"I'm...I'm the one who should be sorry," Meredith choked out, finally allowing the tears to fall down her cheeks, "I...I was driving. I should've looked, but the light was green. I...I'm sorry. We were late..."

"Mer, shut up," Cristina looked at her, squeezing her hand lightly, "None of us are blaming this on you."

"I just thought..." Elizabeth finally started silently crying, "I need help with the arrangements, I thought since you are her roommate you might want to...help."

Meredith froze, she hadn't thought about a funeral, "I don't even know if I'll be well enough to go to her funeral, I don't know whether I can be taken off of these machines."

"We can wait about a week, but I know that Izzie would want you at her funeral," Anne told Meredith. Cristina sat in the chair, turning pale. She absolutely loathed funerals, but she would be at Izzies, supporting her friends in any way that she could.

"Sure we'll help," Cristina smiled tightly, trying to be strong for her person, "What do you need?"

* * *

Derek looked up as someone knocked on his door, interrupting him from his thoughts. He knew that he shouldn't have been surprised to find Addison standing in his doorway, but the sight of her vibrant red hair caught him off-guard. 

"Addie..." he smiled sadly, walking over to give her a friendly hug, "How are you?"

"I've been better," she sighed, taking a seat on his couch, "Why aren't you hovering over Meredith?"

"She doesn't want me hovering," he shrugged, pacing around the office, "A lot has changed around here since you left."

"Like what?" she asked, learning her cheek against her hand.

"Burke left...Hahn came. George and Callie broke up. George went after Iz...Izzie. Meredith and I quasi broke-up but are still sleeping together; her sister is an intern, and she just isn't ready for a relationship," he took one deep sigh and sat down next to Addison, "I really want to hear about LA but so much is going on right now..."

"I know, I understand," she took his hand and gave it a friendly squeeze, "Do you know where Karev is?"

"Bailey forced him to go with George back to the house to get themselves cleaned up," Derek explained, "Meredith doesn't need a million people standing around her right now, shes in a lot of pain."

"I know this is tough on everyone," Addison sighed, "Is there anything that I can do?"

"I don't know," Derek shrugged, "You could go to Meredith's room and see if she needs anything. I feel like I'm just a nuisance right now. Besides, you might find Bailey or Callie in there, I know how much you love those two."

"It's good to see you Derek," Addison smiled softly, planting a kiss on his cheek.

* * *

Addison slowly walked into the hospital room, not sure what to expect. Meredith Grey was half-awake, her brow furrowed, a look of pain spread across her face. Her left leg was elevated in the air and her left arm was in a sling. She had a large bald spot on her head covered by bandages.

"Hi," Addison said awkwardly, walking into the room.

"Addison!" Callie exclaimed, running over to her friend, she had never been more excited to see her in her life.

"Hey Dr. Mont -" Meredith began.

"Call me Addison," she smiled, walking over to Meredith's bedside. Meredith Grey had always been someone hard to hate. She was sweet, she tried to act like a bad-ass but really she was just sweet. She had good intentions and followed medical protocol like no other, "How are you doing, Meredith?"

"I'm on a lot of morphine," she half-smiled, one of Meredith's signature looks, "But otherwise I suck."

"I'm sorry about Izzie," Addison said slowly, she didn't want to upset Meredith.

"You know," Meredith began, she still felt awkward around Callie and Cristina had left reluctantly with Izzie's mom, "Izzie's mom came in here this morning and asked Cristina and I for help planning the funeral." Tears began rushing towards Meredith's eyes, "I don't think I'm strong enough for something like that. I killed -"

"You did not kill her," Callie corrected, "How many times do I have to tell you that, Grey?!"

"I just feel so...I feel so sad," Meredith sighed, slowly leaning her head towards Addison's shoulder, it was possibly one of the weirdest situations she had found herself in recently but she just needed a shoulder to cry on, "I killed my friend, killed my relationship with my father, my half-sister is here as a doctor, and I can't even accept the fact that I'm in love with Derek."

"Shh," Addison stroked her hair, "I know that feeling."

* * *

**Sorry this took so long, the next one should come sooner.**


End file.
